today was hot, it was too hot really i only had a dress and sandals on me and i was sososo warm i hate when it gets too warm i can almost not be in the sun at all without getting sunstroke i have to walk in the shadow all the time and also i love wearing sweaters and you can never do that in this weather!! even if i like sun it gets so sultry it feels as if i will never be cold again and i can almost not breath! I woke up quite early and rode my bike down to the lake and swam a bit and then i ate breakfast, tea & banana sandwich, on the porch. then my mom, my sister and i went to skansen, the zoo in stockholm, and we saw a lynx and some other nordic animals, when we got home we swam in the lake again and now i have to pack because i am going to south of sweden tomorrow
I took the Polaroid down in my room I’m pretty sure you have a new girlfriend It’s not as if I don’t like you It just makes me sad whenever I see it 'cause I like to be gone most of the time And you like to be home most of the time If I stay in one place I lose my mind I’m a pretty impossible lady to be with
im very happy that you understand that you , not your friends are the ones who make you feel that way , that is a step closer to not being that way
i don’t think i will ever “not be that way” because it is a part of my personality, also i don’t think it is anything wrong with my friends now but sometimes i feel stuck and i think some new people will help because i can actually be with people i like a lot and not feel this way but right now i feel this way every time i meet people :——-)
Do you think you want to study art at university still ? And if you do, where do you think you would want to go/ would you stay in Sweden? Because I was thinking of studying art in sweden but the only place that was mentioned to me where I could go was the konstfack. Now I'm doing fine art in London.
yes, i really want to study art still. i was thinking maybe i will study somewhere else (not in sweden) but it is three years left so i haven’t decided yet!! how is it to study fine art in london, do you like it?
you are such a sweety pie, but do you think that with time the new people you meet wont make you feel the way that your friends make you feel?
i hope so, the school i am going to have a lot different people and also i think learning to know people when you are sixteen is a lot different from learning to know people when you are eleven or so. but also i don’t think it is my friends who make me feel this way, it is only myself, still i need some new people around me so i won’t feel as stuck (oh i really hope non one sees this)
as soon as i am with friends for longer than two hours it feels like I am going to disappear or turn into a very very small pea because I get so tired of them and I just want to be home and do something else, but still I keep doing these things and think I won’t regret it but I always realize they want everything to be in a different way than I want and they just start talking about boring things and in a way I am sad for feeling this but I also can’t think it is interesting in any way and I feel stuck when I am with them and it is not like they do anything wrong it is just that I look at things so different and don’t want to do the same things as they want and I can never discuss anything with them like when I say “I saw this artists paintings” or “their music is interesting in this way” I notice they don’t even know who I talk about and even less what works that person have done or what I mean by saying something about it and oh this was just going to be a very short post but I can’t stop writing oh well I am on the buss on my way home now i think everyone else is going to be by the lake but I am probably going to be home and do nothing but be sad but I think I am going to clean my room and make some tea and also I want to tell you no one wanted to have a picnic inside they thought it would be too much effort so I made ramen and ate it quietly while the other talked about something I can’t remember and ate pizza with meat on it and for some reason I get so offended when people tell me how good meat tastes even if they don’t mean it in a bad way a and I don’t want to tell them I don’t want to hear it and also it’s not like I feel like I can’t be myself with them because I can it is just I don’t like who I am with them and also I get very shy sometimes even if I’ve known most of them for a very long time and even if I won’t tell it to anyone (except the 2000 people who follow me how ironic) I really long for when I start a new school and meet new people and I get very nervous because two of my friends is starting the same school and I really don’t want to be with them in that way but I still don’t want to just ignore them because that would be very strange oh I just got home and I got some vegan and organic almond ice cream and some apple pie ice cream and it tastes so nice I really like to be alone maybe I should start doing things completely alone instead of being with people
I wanted to have a picnic too, and its cloudy and about to rain in london, i feel you :(
I am going to have a picnic inside instead!! I am going to make vegetables for myself and buy lemonade and we are going to put a blanket on the floor and have lots of pillows and afterward we are going to a concert if it is rainy, I hope you’ll have a good time even if it is not the way you expected it too be
Do u know any good documentaries to watch? I recently watched the radiant child and it was really good !!
i watched “Moominland Tales – The Life of Tove Janson” yesterday and it was very interesting!! also one called “Vivian Maiers okända bildskatt” is very good but i don’t know what it is called in english/if they are talking swedish because i saw it a few weeks ago!